Countering parent blame with Mothers from refugee backgrounds: The impact of parent-blaming discourses on parents and children settling in Australia

Domestic violence and feminist practitioners have long been aware of the impact discourses of parent and mother-blame that may affect parents whose children have experienced violence or trauma. This paper will explore the... [ view full abstract ]

Domestic violence and feminist practitioners have long been aware of the impact discourses of parent and mother-blame that may affect parents whose children have experienced violence or trauma. This paper will explore the characteristics of parent blame, client’s experiences of it’s impacts and small, but deliberate practices that may counter it’s effects. Self-blame and guilt can co-opt parents into hopelessness and false conclusions about responsibility and agency (Gaddis, 2004). For refugee background families there are many opportunities for invitation into ideas of parent blame that internalise responsibility within the parent, rather than structurally - global conflict, forced migration, domestic immigration policy and illegal confinement of children (Australian Human Rights Commission, 2014).

Narrative therapy is a post-structuralist therapeutic practice that views peoples lives as multi-storied and endeavours to assist people to richly develop stories of their values, survival and commitments while addressing and acknowledging problematic stories of trauma or difficulties. Narrative therapy emphasizes the need to attend to discourses and politics that may impact negatively on survivors of trauma and the stories that they tell of themselves.

In this paper I will discuss narrative practices such as, externalising parent blame (White, 2007), deconstructing its effects as a dominant and unhelpful discourse and considering what may be absent but implicit in feelings of self-blame, guilt and distress (White, 2000). Some questions I will seek to address are:

• How might naming and multi-storying parent blame in refugee background families help to address feelings of shame and guilt?
• How do parent blame discourses affect parents from refugee backgrounds who have experienced dangerous journeys or detention upon arrival?
• Can naming and responding to parent blame support Mother’s who report feeling disempowered in their parenting?
These ideas have been developed through my work with Mothers in particular and therefore this paper will present much of their wisdom and observations of the impact of parent blame on their lives.