Dialectics between mainstream and marginality: Experiences of spouses of mixed-orientation relationships

The phenomenon of mixed-orientation relationships, in which one of the spouses is heterosexual and the other is homosexual, is invisible, yet not insignificant. The scant literature that deals with this phenomenon focuses... [ view full abstract ]

The phenomenon of mixed-orientation relationships, in which one of the spouses is heterosexual and the other is homosexual, is invisible, yet not insignificant. The scant literature that deals with this phenomenon focuses primarily on individual and marital aspects. Our study, which derives from the theory of Social construction, illuminates social aspects related to this system of relationships. Based on the phenomenological paradigm, we conducted in-depth interviews with 38 homosexual and bisexual men and 8 heterosexual women, which currently are in such a relationship. The findings clearly indicate that the phenomenon of mixed-orientation relationships does not exist in a void. The social discourse regarding mixed-orientation relationships was interwoven within participants' narratives. Relatives' and friends' attitudes, religious beliefs, culture of origin and the dominant culture – all of the above affect the ways in which participants experience and perceive themselves, their spouses, and their intimate relationships. Moreover, societal and cultural elements shape the relationship between spouses and their social environment and the extent to which the spouses expose the unique nature of their relationship to others. In this presentation, we will illustrate and discuss the dialectics between mainstream and marginality, between the wish to be a part of society and the need to stay away as an 'outsider', between the wish to be open about some aspects of the relationship and the necessity to remain secretive about other aspects.